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Julia Will Be Fine

~ An unexpected MS Journey

Julia Will Be Fine

Tag Archives: learning

Status Update

28 Monday Sep 2015

Posted by juliawillbefine in Daily Life

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exercise, expectations, future, learning, lesions, ms, multiple sclerosis, new baseline, symptoms, travel

It has been ages since I posted (almost a year – my goodness!) mostly because I’ve been doing well (or well enough) and I’ve been incredibly busy between work and the business and life in general.  I keep intending to return.  So, here I am.  Every thing is much the same as my last writing I believe except that my questionable cervical lesions turned out to be not questionable at all.  I have a lesion at C2 and a small brainstem lesion as well.  How did we find out?  Well, I started having difficulty with my hands for the first time.  Burning that would run from my shoulders down, weakness that would prevent me from opening a jar or can, and cramping in my forearms.  When my forearms get tight, my hands tend to pull in – like I’m making a first – and I have to focus to keep them open.

I visited my MS specialist early this month.  As part of the visit, I asked about my potential for improvement.  He was kind, but told me that it wasn’t likely at this point in treatment and this was probably my new baseline.  I’m two years in, so I knew “better” was not likely, but hearing the words out loud was hard.  Sobering.  He suggested instead that I need to focus on better overall health and exercise to maintain brain volume and to feel better in general.  We had discussed exercise in past and he emphasized that I need to be doing some form of it every. single. day.  (ugh)

Even before this visit I had started walking.  W and I have been going to the hospital up the road from us that has a nice 1 mile path.  It wanders around two ponds and provide sufficient distraction that it doesn’t feel like a chore.  There is even a tree toward the end that always makes me smile.  The location of the hospital used to be a large farm (cows and all).  Very few of the original structures remain, but this one was left alone.  Talk about overcoming adversity.
Tree Overcoming Adversity

And we went to the beach.  I adore walking on the sand and communing with the waves.  We walked six miles one day.  Just came out to the beach, took a left, and walked until we were tired.  Then turned about and came back.

FullSizeRender

We rented chairs on the beach and after our walks, we would sit under the umbrella and watch the waves.

IMG_1434

So, I’ve definitely been trying to get exercise.  I installed the Stepz App on my phone* and I’m tracking what I manage to walk each day.  W pre-paid for 6 months at the Y for both of us so I could start swimming again.  I swam a bit while staying at a hotel in DC recently and it was a good reminder of how much I enjoy it.  Unfortunately, the Y’s pool heater is broken (again) and cold water + my muscles is a very bad mix.  I’m hoping they will be back up and running next week.

W has also been trying to cook as many vegan meals as time allows.  I bought a copy of Thug Kitchen’s cookbook.  Their cookbooks aren’t for everyone (*ahem* let’s just say that they play up the Thug angle quite a bit), but the recipes are amazing.  For anyone who may want to give it a shot: be prepared to spend some time.  W tells me each recipe is taking him an hour or more.  The end result is worth it, but you have to have the time to set aside.

So, we’re moving forward.  I can’t fix the damage that has been done, but I can focus on losing weight and exercising more in hope of feeling better overall.

———————-

*Related note: I would recommend Stepz.  It allows you to put in your height and weight and recommends goals for you each day.  Plus, it calculates your mileage more accurately.  As a vertically challenged individual, five thousand steps for me is not the same distance as five thousand for my husband.

A New Stage of Denial

03 Saturday May 2014

Posted by juliawillbefine in Daily Life

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acceptance, daily life, future, learning, ms, multiple sclerosis

I’ve hit a funny place mentally with MS.  This is going to sound very weird to anyone who does not have the disease, but I feel pretty good overall and it is strange.  I imagine this means I have officially hit the remission period that is referred to in the name Relapsing Remitting.  That’s great news overall.  It means that I’m exercising, that my pain has diminished enough that I’m only taking meds at night and a lower dose then I was recently.  It means that I don’t feel like I need to sleep through every weekend just to recover from the week before.  I finally find myself forgetting that I have MS.  Although it plays a major role in my life, I’m finally able to focus on other things.

But all this also means that I hear that lovely little voice in my head piping up again and I find myself asking a million questions.  Maybe the disease wasn’t as aggressive as we originally thought?  Maybe I don’t need to continue my Rituxan therapy?  Maybe this will be how I’ll feel from now on?  And, my personal favorite: maybe I don’t really have MS?  Maybe the well-educated, incredibly knowledgeable doctors were all wrong?

I’m quite familiar with the little voice in my head that likes to send me down anxiety-ridden paths.  I am also realistic.  The reality is that I have amazing doctors and the Rituxan is doing its job.  It has halted the disease process.  My body is focused on healing instead of attacked itself.  I am swimming more which helps to continue reducing my pain levels and also helps to minimize the fatigue.  Things are good.  Rather than allowing myself to enter a new stage of denial, I need to enjoy and celebrate this period of remission and recognize it for what it is.

 

Multiple Sclerosis: Education Event

12 Wednesday Feb 2014

Posted by juliawillbefine in Education

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Tags

education, events, learning, ms, multiple sclerosis

Recently my husband and I had the opportunity to attend an MS educational event held in a near by city.  Since there is no support group local to us, it was literally my first time being around other MS patients in person (other than maybe in a doctor’s office?).  We estimated 150+ folks there.  We walked in, registered, and sat down at a table for a morning snack and I immediately started to cry.  My husband looked very confused and all I could say is “I am not alone.”  If I got nothing else out of that trip, it was such a relief to be in a large room with so many people who had MS and to see the various stages.  There were folks in a wheelchairs to be sure, some with canes, but many were walking around.  I didn’t see too many people my age (early 30s), but that didn’t bother me too much.

The event was sponsored by a drug company, so there was a healthy dose of infomercial-ness about it (as you would expect), but I also got quite a bit out of the speakers and the Q&A at the end of the main talk.  For those who were diagnosed long ago, these facts would have been clear or even common sense, but there were several rather enlightening things I learned that I wanted to share:

  • Although many MS patients (myself included) experience symptoms in a foot or leg, there is actually no damage to the nerves in that location.  The hands, feet, legs, etc are fine.  The damage is only occurring in the brain, spinal cord, and optic nerve.
  • The myelin damage (damage to the coating around the nerves) that occurs in the central nervous system slows the speed of transmission of signals.  This explains why sometimes you “tell” your body to do something and it will, but not quite when you may expect it to.
  • MS does not pre-dispose you to other illnesses (ex: sinus infections).  The disease itself is not marked by a “high” or “low” immune system, but an immune disruption
  • A relapse = longer than 24 hour acute new symptoms or worsening of existing symptoms
  • The MS popluation is generally broken down into sub types: 85% have Relapsing Remitting MS (RRMS), 10% have Primary Progressive MS (PPMS), and 5% have Progressive Relapsing MS (PRMS).
  • 50% of those with RRMS used to progress to Secondary Progressive MS (SPMS) without treatment
  • Relapsing Remitting MS is simply characterized by not getting worse in between relapses.  A RRMS patient may not get fully better (i.e. return to their original state), but they will develop a new baseline and will show no progress of disability until the next relapse (this was a HUGE light bulb for me as I have been waiting to return to my pre-attack state which may never happen)
  • MS affects 2.1 million people worldwide and 400,000 folks in the US
  • MS is most common in colder climates (further from the equator)
  • The risk if you have a first degree relative with MS is 1/40
  • “Invisible” MS symptoms make it hard for patients to look sick – fatigue is a good example
  • The first MS medication was introduced in 1993 (!! that is SO recent)
  • If you decrease relapses and decrease new lesions, you will decrease disability progression
  • Early treatment slows the course of MS

Hopefully there was a tidbit above that is as helpful or encouraging to other folks as it was for me.  We are attending another educational event in May and we are definitely looking forward to it!

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